Posted 3 months ago ago
Dogs are athletic, love to play and love balls, so they would undoubtedly make great football players, but the positions are up for debate.
Obviously we’ve got to put the big dogs in goal and the quick dogs on the wing, but there’s a whole load to choose from for our team selection.
To narrow the selection down, like any Euros team would do, the squad will be made up of dogs we know to be native to the UK - sorry Rottweiler, you’ll have to wait for our Champions League selection.
Photo by: Bill McCay/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images
Scottish Deerhound - Unfortunately the obvious big dog choices (Great Dane, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland) are not UK native, which takes them off the list. However, our northern ancestors have come through to provide the Scottish Deerhound which can grow up to 32 inches tall. The Deerhound is a great hunter, used to taking on prey twice its size, so a ball will be no trouble. Scottish Deerhounds can be on the quieter side, but they’re always switched on and ready for the challenge which makes them a strong contender for goalie.
Defenders x 4
Beagle - Known for its tracking and hunting skills, the Beagle would be great at keeping a nose on the ball and the attacker at all times. They have great stamina and a great temperament, meaning they are unlikely to give away any penalties or free kicks near to the box. However, there will have to be a ban on food near the pitch as that might just be enough to distract them from the task.
Bullmastiff - These dogs are calm, loyal, and protective, exactly what you want in a defender. This pooch isn’t going to make any questionable decisions under pressure and will know exactly what to do for the good of the team. While they can be known as big softies to their owners, they have all the qualities of a great defender.
Jack Russell Terrier - Small and feisty, this dog isn’t going to let anyone past him without putting up a fight. Jack Russells are robust and nimble, meaning even the fastest of attackers will have a fight against this little one. They’re also incredibly vocal making for an intimidating defence. While they’re completely fearless and bold, they might be at risk of taking one for the team in order to stop a strong attack and some strong coaching would be needed for this headstrong bundle.
Staffordshire Bull Terrier - Staffies are loving and big softies, not quite the intimidating defence, however they are also intelligent and fiercely loyal, which the team needs. A Staffordshire Bull’s loyalty and stamina is a great pairing to prevent any goal scoring opportunities for the opposition, but the affectionate nature might just be enough to prevent any risks in the box.
Midfielders x 4
Border Collie - Highly disciplined, focused, and quick, the Border Collie is a natural midfielder. They’re fast and athletic enough to cover the length of the pitch at a moment’s change, and would be strong on the ball ready for the attacker to get into position. They’re used to following commands and are incredibly skilled dogs, allowing them to perform according to the team’s needs.
Airedale Terrier - The Airedale Terrier is agile and intelligent, exactly what you need in a player who can drop back in defence or step up to attack. Additionally, they’re a Terrier, meaning they would be great at keeping their eye on the ball, and keeping their paws on it once in possession. They’re also highly vocal, meaning communication with the team wouldn’t suffer when an Airedale is on the pitch.
Golden Retriever - Intelligent, confident, and very tolerant, this pup isn’t going to get his tail in a knot when the going gets tough, he will sail his way through. Although the Golden Retriever may be a bit too docile to be on the pitch, they’re a trustworthy dog, meaning you won’t have to worry about bad-tempered tackles on field which can make or break a game.
Border Terrier - Border Terriers are intelligent and full of energy. They can be prone to acting out when bored so popping them in midfield will give them all the action they need to stay engaged in the game. They’re smart enough to know who needs their support and when, and would be bold enough to go for a goal if the opportunity presented itself.
Whippet - A no brainer of a choice really. Despite the Whippet’s more gentle nature, their agility and speed means aggression won’t be necessary for this player - he should hopefully outrun the defenders before it comes to that.
Springer Spaniel - Slightly more robust than the Whippet, but still agile and strong and intelligent, this dog has the gumption for a penalty shoot out. They’re disciplined and alert, ready to respond to what midfielders set up for them. They also have magnificent ears and coats, making them perfect for the photogenic showmanship role as a striker.
Think we’ve got any wrong? Let us know who you would have in your Euros dog team.