If dogs could text this is what we think they’d say… | TeamDogs

If dogs could text this is what we think they’d say…

“Postman’s been. Barked at him. You’re welcome.”

Bethan Shufflebotham

Posted 2 months ago ago

How amazing would it be if our dogs could text? 

Instead of sitting in the office wondering if they’re getting on okay at home, or if the postie has been - a quick text to your dog to check in on their day would be a dream come true.

I imagine my American Bulldog, Frank, would be texting me: “Hey, mum, what’s for tea later?” or “where’s that tennis ball we had out yesterday?”

“Hey, mum, I caught my tail!” or “Erm, there’s a van parked outside and I’m going to woof till it moves.”

Phoebe, my staffie, on the other hand, would stick to much more matter of fact messages: “Postman’s been. Barked at him. You’re welcome.” 

Perhaps a post-lunch text to say: “Mother, there’s a pigeon in the garden distracting me from watching QVC.”

If dogs could text, there would surely be some LOL moments that we’d be screenshotting to post on their Instagram stories. 

And much like we have LOL, BRB, and IMHO, here are some instant messaging acronyms our dogs might use - you know, if they could…

BOL - Bark out loud - to be used much like LOL, when something has made you laugh

HAW - Humans are watching - sneaky teens would often write on MSN (remember that?) ‘PAW’, which meant ‘parents are watching’. It would prevent the other person saying something that would get them into trouble. We can definitely see our dogs using this one regularly...

IMFO - In my furry opinion - to be used when a canine is offering up their honest insight into a situation. For example: “IMFO, you defo should have put extra meat on our tea.”

BMTO - Barking my tail off - when something is even funnier than something you ‘BOL’ed at

LSDL - let sleeping dogs lie - is what it says on the tin. Let the doggo have a lie in!

MBDT - Must be dinner time - Which your dog would text you from around an hour before mealtimes, just so you don’t forget...

OMD - Oh my dog - instead of oh my god, of course

OMDT - Over my dead toy - In a sentence, “You’re not getting me in the bath after this muddy walk… OMDT.”

ROFB - Roll on floor barking - so hilarious your pup falls to the ground barking

TTP - talk to the paw - “I can’t believe you took me to the vets and not the dog park. TTP”

WYH? - When you home? - the text that will forever guilt trip owners into cutting whatever they’re doing short and head home to cuddle the dog.