Posted 2 months ago ago
This dog seems to find our jokes funny (Photo: SensorSpot/Getty Images)
by Caroline Abbott
Call us barking mad, but here at TeamDogs we like to have a laugh at dog-themed “dad jokes” – you know, the kind of jokes you might find in a Christmas cracker. Ones that are so bad, they’re good.
We’ve rounded up a collection of grrr-eat dog jokes that will have you rolling over!
Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Q: What did the dog say when it sat on some sharp stones?
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters
Q: What do you call a large dog that meditates?
A: Aware wolf
Q: What do you call dogs who dig up ancient artefacts?
Q: What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A: A friend you can count on
Q: What do you call a sad pup?
A: Melon collie
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: It doesn’t matter, he still won’t come when you call
Q: What do you give a sausage dog with a fever?
A: Mustard – it’s the best thing for a hot dog
Q: What kind of dog chases anything red?
A: A bulldog
Q: Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?
A: You might step in a poodle
Q: Where do dogs that want to star in films go?
Q: Why did the boy take his dog to a watchmaker?
A: It had ticks
Q: What’s the difference between a businessman and a hot dog?
A: The businessman wears a suit but the dog just pants
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound
Q: What kind of dog likes taking a bath?
A: A shampoodle
Q: What goes tick-tock woof-woof?
A: A watchdog
Q: What was the dog's favourite type of homework?
A: A lab report
Q: How are a dog and a marine biologist alike?
A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale
Q: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?
A: Well you won’t be getting any mail, that’s for sure
Q: Why don’t blind people go skydiving more often?
A: Because it frightens the dog
(Photo: Silvia Vellozo/EyeEm/Getty Images)
Q: Why do dogs like conjunctions?
A: They just love buts
Q: What’s a dog’s favourite kind of pizza?
Q: How do dog catchers get paid?
A: By the pound
Q: Who delivers your dog’s Christmas presents?
A: Santa Paws
Q: What kind of dog comes from Asgard and wields a mighty hammer?
A: A labrathor
Q: How do dogs train their fleas?
A: From scratch
Q: Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?
A: Because he bites
Q: Why aren't dogs good dancers?
A: Because they have two left feet
Q: What do chemists' dogs do with their bones?
A: They barium
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees
Q: What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
A: A dusky husky
Q: What do you call a cold dog?
A: A chilli dog
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?
A: The collie wobbles
Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle
Q: What do dogs eat for breakfast?
A: Pooched eggs
Q: What does my dog and my phone have in common?
A: They both have collar I.D.
Q: What type of markets do dogs avoid?
A: Flea markets
Q: What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A: A golden receiver
Q: Why did the dog cross the road?
A: To get to the "barking" lot
Q: How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?
Q: What breed of dog tells off-colour jokes?
A: A smutt
Q: What do you call a snowman’s dog?
A: A slush puppy
Q: What do you call a dog falling from a great height?
A: A Chihuahu-arrrrgh!